making up my own double standards.

"Miwa, this girl is psycho. I've got to get her to stop calling me."
"You told her you just want to be friends?"
"Apparently, 'being friends' involves her calling me all the time and getting mad when I don't want to talk."
"Well, tell her you just can't be the kind of friend she needs right now."
"Can I do it in a text message?"
"No."
"But didn't YOU do that once?"
"When I do it, it's humorously harsh. When YOU do, it's just mean."
"You sure?"
"Yes. I already checked the bylaws."